Have you ever just wanted to see some fairies kick the crap out of each other? Because I sure have.
You know that song by Lemon Demon? Y'know, the one about the ultimate showdown and Mr.Rogers wins in the end? I'm kind of wondering what it would be like if there was an ultimate showdown for cryptids. Like.... Would Bigfoot, or the abominable snowman win out? They're pretty much the same big hairy ape-type dude, wandering around in an undesirable setting and alllllways having blurry pictures taken of themselves. Mitch Hedberg was probably right when he said Bigfoot just is a blurry monster. But they might not stand a chance against something as crazed and blood-thirsty as the Chupacabra! Then again... Neither of them is a goat and so... Are probably not actually in any danger. Unicorns have a high probability of stabbing something through the chest, y'know... And Nessie's got an awful big mouth.... Hm. Nah, if we're looking for the Mr. Rogers of the cryptid world, I guess we'd have to declare the inflatable hedgehog as the winner, since seriously.... what the junk? Inflatable hedgehog? Who the heck comes up with these creatures?!
Well, that's all for now. Be sure not to trip on any hoop snakes on your way to bed, or upset any owl men when you go out grocery shopping. Not that I think it would be deadly for you or anything, just that it would be hard to explain to your parents why you suddenly up and lost your marbles.
P.S. Fairies are totally real, though.