Sunday, December 12, 2010


One day I woke up and said "hmm. I don't think I've done anything with reflective light for a while..... LET'S DO THIS THING!!!" ... So I did.

Now.... I am definitely aware that I may have gone a teensy-weensy bit overboard while doing this, but... I have a couple more projects I'm working on that will really help me refine this skill. Honestly, I just wanted an excuse to draw something that looked freaky as fuck, and we all know that me drawing children is terrifying. What's weird is that I actually like kids... So I'm not really sure why they're pretty much the scariest things I ever draw but... Eh.

This image was also colored entirely in Photoshop, as opposed to my lovely, lovely Painter. The main reason being that my computer has had problems with Painter crashing lately, and I need to reinstall it.... But I don't quite remember where I put my install disk soooooooooo.......... Poop berries. It's probably somewhere real clever like... In the bag that I keep the rest of my computer accessories and my CS4 disks but I am far too lazy to search for mere moments. No, instead I feel compelled to spend many hours slaving away in front of a program with which I am slightly less competent.

It's really funny to me, actually, that in high school I pretty much exclusively used the Adobe suite of products, but when I went to college... I switched to Painter. I think the reason is that I was able to get a copy of Painter 10 online for $35, and the adobe products were locked into a key server that meant I was only going to have access to them temporarily. I figured it was probably best not to get too used to something that I wasn't going to have around forever and instead, become a master at the one I actually did own: Painter. I was literally the only person in college that I know of that was using Painter, so when I had to figure out how to do something.... Actually, I kind of had a lot of fun doing it. I think I came up with some of the most bizarre methods of doing things and honestly I don't even remember what they were any more, but I always made them work. I also really love the brush controls in Painter, and how it duplicates the effects of traditional mediums quite nicely.

Recently, though, I've been getting re-acquainted with Photoshop and it is one of the best ideas I've ever had. Why? Because it got me a job! I've been unemployed for a bit due to some complications at my old new job that resulted in me not gettin' paid. Yeeeeeeeeeeeeah. Don't worry about it. What's important is that a combination of randomly deciding to start using Photoshop again, coupled with the super high-quality portfolio that UArts required me to make landed me a job as a receptionist/artist at Misa Cosmetics, a pretty rad nail polish company. The art portion is mostly going to be Graphic Design, photo editing, and product photography but... Hey! It's something! I am sooooooooooooo freakin' psyched it's just ridonkulous.

You know what else? I am sooooooooooo freakin' hungry it's just ridonkulous. I think I'm going to go make a totally pimped out veggie burger with a bun that's been grilled with garlic butter, topped with garlic herb mayo, extra sharp cheddar cheese, lettuce, tomato, onions, pickles, and a hint of ketchup. Successes like this are worth celebrating with copious amounts of soy.

Monday, December 6, 2010

Man, it's really cold right now.

Now, it is no secret at all that I am crazy head-over heels ga ga goo goo butterflies up in the sky in love with the most wonderful man in the universe:Billy. And if it was a secret before, well.... Uh.... Surprise? Where the junk have you been living? I mean, seriously... He's just about all I talk about aside from my cat and how darned cold it is right now. Anyway, his birthday was this weekend and I am beyond grateful he managed to be born so.... I conjured up this little number for him.

Anyone who knows him, obviously knows that the pirate is, in fact, the most realistic portrayal of Billy ever to have been created. I'm serious-aside from the entire month of December [during which he dons a Santa hat], Billy wears a pirate hat all year-round, usually has a ducky or two on his person, and is the jolliest crazy bastard you've ever met. He's also got this really awesome dog named Rowdy, but that's only partially as important. I absolutely LOVED making this piece, and it is actually the first one that I've completely colored in Photoshop without even a little bit looking at Painter. I'd definitely say that it was an interesting experience, and I understand why it's so popular but.... seriously... Painter rocks. I really want the latest version, but I've got to replace my xBox before I go spendin' money on other, more productive things like art programs.

Also, this week I re-discovered my shrinky-dinks. Good lord, they are pretty much the most awesome art supply ever!!!!!! I will probably make an etsy account sometime in the near future and make billions of dollars off of Shrinky-Dink crafts.

Double also, I'm really good at making cake!


[Totally want to see the new Tron movie. :D ]

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Let's go for a ride.

Man. It's been one hell of a week for me. Heck, it's been one hell of a year... But the year isn't over yet so I'll wait 'till the end of it to figure out how it all went. News of the week, though, is that I quit my job. Yes, nearly a year and a half after becoming employed at that wretched hellhole of a torture dungeon Panera Bread, I finally managed to snag a space somewhere else and quit. I'm not sure I'll like this job that much since it's not something I've ever even considered doing before, but I'm hoping that it will at least pay the bills... Something Panera consistently failed to do. I'm finishing up my training for them this week before heading off to North Carolina for my second wedding ever, whereupon my return I will immediately begin working. I'm going to be nervous as hell until that first paycheck comes in, though... I'm kind of down to my last $5, which I borrowed from a friend to keep enough gas in my tank to get around. Basically the only good thing to have come from the bread mines are some really, really good friends that I would go completely mad without.

I think of all the horrible things that Panera did to me, the worst was kill my spirit. But I got it back, now... And I've been up to no good.

Most of it involves this guy. And yes, I know that turning your neck a bit to see something is a bit cruel of me but... well... I'm lazy. And working on something. Specifically, I'm working on a book about an adventure that this guy has. Interestingly enough, he was created late one Panera morning while dreading the horrible harpy shriek of the ovens, demanding to be tended to and have their guts constantly stuffed with an endless stream raw dough. A couple of months ago, I got the ability to doodle back sort of suddenly. I started losing myself in ink splotches and scribbles and those spirals and squiggles you make when your pen isn't working because after quite a few months of being ignored... Well... My pens weren't really working. Actually, now that I think of it I should probably go and clean those suckers out. Anyway, I squeaked out a tiny little drawing of an extremely excited bunny kid wearing a pair of pajamas and, for some reason, couldn't let him go. Maybe it was because he looked like he could take on the world and I wanted so terribly to do so myself at that moment, or maybe it's because I thought his smile was goofy and it got me going a bit... Or maybe it's just because he was in some secret part of my head, waiting for the moment to escape... Whatever the reason, the night he was made was the night I found his story and just couldn't stop thinking about it. I've got some more sketches, some comp pages, and half of a pencilled page but... I think I'll keep stringing you along for a bit before giving them up. In the meantime, here's another shirt I entered into that contest. This one's called "oh, shiiiiiiip..."

I'm really enjoying thinking in positives again. :)

Thursday, September 23, 2010


I am so, so sorry for what's about to happen, but.... I'm going to have to blind you with science.

It is poetry in motion, afterall.

Two weeks ago, my friend did a horrible, horrible thing to me and got that song stuck in my head. At the same time, the woot derby topic was "rain"... Well, science happens in the rain!

It ended that week's derby with only about 23 votes. So sad, so sad... But the current derby topic is science!!!! And since I'm lazy and also working on a book instead of shirt designs, I decided to resubmit it. I've got over 70 votes and still going strong! Now granted, I've pretty much just been keeping a steady 50th place, but... It's better than gettin' punched in the butt.

I say that specifically because my friend Gov and I have been playing Batman: Arkham Asylum for the last couple of hours and possibly the best moment thus far was when we took a guy down and punched him in his butt until he died. I just about followed that feller to the afterlife with how hard I was laughing! Gosh, I love batman. I keep drawing him in the steam of the mirror after taking a shower. Aw, what the heck, here... Have some Batman, too.

Yes, that is Neil Patrick Harris. The 90's animated series will always be my favorite, but... Brave and the Bold certainly has its moments.

Friday, September 17, 2010

She doesn't fight fair....y.

Have you ever just wanted to see some fairies kick the crap out of each other? Because I sure have.

You know that song by Lemon Demon? Y'know, the one about the ultimate showdown and Mr.Rogers wins in the end? I'm kind of wondering what it would be like if there was an ultimate showdown for cryptids. Like.... Would Bigfoot, or the abominable snowman win out? They're pretty much the same big hairy ape-type dude, wandering around in an undesirable setting and alllllways having blurry pictures taken of themselves. Mitch Hedberg was probably right when he said Bigfoot just is a blurry monster. But they might not stand a chance against something as crazed and blood-thirsty as the Chupacabra! Then again... Neither of them is a goat and so... Are probably not actually in any danger. Unicorns have a high probability of stabbing something through the chest, y'know... And Nessie's got an awful big mouth.... Hm. Nah, if we're looking for the Mr. Rogers of the cryptid world, I guess we'd have to declare the inflatable hedgehog as the winner, since seriously.... what the junk? Inflatable hedgehog? Who the heck comes up with these creatures?!

Well, that's all for now. Be sure not to trip on any hoop snakes on your way to bed, or upset any owl men when you go out grocery shopping. Not that I think it would be deadly for you or anything, just that it would be hard to explain to your parents why you suddenly up and lost your marbles.

P.S. Fairies are totally real, though.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Bigfoot in Love.

Looking for love stinks. Being single really isn't bad at all... Unless you've gotten that itch that only the love of someone else can scratch. You know what I'm talking about. Those weeks of evaluating yourself, starting to think there's no one out there who could ever love you, changing your face and hair and wardrobe to make yourself a little more appealing, telling all your friends it's okay that you're single because it's okay, you're a deity and don't need anyone to fill your void and it really doesn't matter that everyone you know is growing up and getting married and you can't even manage to wrangle a second date despite the fact that you think you do and say all the right things aside from ordering the most garlic-y dish on the menu.... But yeah, no big deal... Everything's okay. But you're still lonely. I'm reminded of a Deirdre Flint song, actually....

Anyway, some of us have a little more trouble than others. Some of us are imaginary creatures with a constant bad hair day and have a LOT more trouble than others.

This week's topic was cryptids, or well-known imaginary creatures that people SWEAR are real. More to come soon!

By the way, I'm in a ridiculously satisfying and happy relationship and have fairly normal-sized feet. ... But that doesn't mean I don't sympathize with ol' Bigfoot up there.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

No sense cryin'.

Holy smokes has it been a long time! How y'all doin' tonight? I see some old faces in the crowd, glad to see you're still up and kickin' about. Me, I stopped kickin' about for a while there... As you can tell. It's hard out there when you're working fifty hour weeks at a job that doesn't pay you nearly enough to survive, tells you you're the cancer of the company [true story!], and sticks you under the command of some dumbass too idiotic enough not to run into a car while on his bike. In the suburbs. At some point, you've just got to say enough is enough and get back to what's important to you. I've been spending a lot of time with my cat, and my boyfriend, and they both agree that drawing is the best way to fix this craphole I seem to have slid right on down to. So I've got a solution to keep me motivated, and hopefully end up with a good enough payload that I can blow this crummy popsicle shop and lead my life somewhat more on my own danged terms! has a derby every week for random people to submit shirt designs based on their parameters. This week, they just so happened to decide the theme was the end of the world, and I just so happened to produce this little gem:

As of now, I've got a whopping 24 votes, which is pretty pathetic but actually way better than I was expecting.... I was really only hoping for five votes, and ten as an ultimate goal. Did I mention that whoever's shirt gets picked, gets a thousand bucks right off the bat? Hot damn! I could use that money to buy the biggest bag of gummy bears ever made!!!! Yeah!!!!! .... Or, y'know.... Do something responsible with it, too, like... Pay my electric bill. Sheesh, whatever. Gummy bears are cooler.

I'll be entering this derby for at least another ten weeks for a few reasons. One, moneymoneymoneymoneymoney. Two, deadlines force me to actually do work. Three, I was super frustrated I hadn't been doing anything other than random doodles for basically a whole danged year. Four, it'll help me buff up my portfolio so I can get back on track to being a real artist. Five, secret plan.

YES, THAT'S RIGHT, SECRET PLAN. Just because this is the internet doesn't mean I need to tell you everything.

Incidentally, I just pulled off one of my toenails and it's bleeding quite a bit. And I'm going to start learning sign language next week. And I'm hungry. Stay tuned!!!