Science!!!!

I am so, so sorry for what's about to happen, but.... I'm going to have to blind you with science.



It is poetry in motion, afterall.


Two weeks ago, my friend did a horrible, horrible thing to me and got that song stuck in my head. At the same time, the woot derby topic was "rain"... Well, science happens in the rain!



It ended that week's derby with only about 23 votes. So sad, so sad... But the current derby topic is science!!!! And since I'm lazy and also working on a book instead of shirt designs, I decided to resubmit it. I've got over 70 votes and still going strong! Now granted, I've pretty much just been keeping a steady 50th place, but... It's better than gettin' punched in the butt.

I say that specifically because my friend Gov and I have been playing Batman: Arkham Asylum for the last couple of hours and possibly the best moment thus far was when we took a guy down and punched him in his butt until he died. I just about followed that feller to the afterlife with how hard I was laughing! Gosh, I love batman. I keep drawing him in the steam of the mirror after taking a shower. Aw, what the heck, here... Have some Batman, too.



Yes, that is Neil Patrick Harris. The 90's animated series will always be my favorite, but... Brave and the Bold certainly has its moments.

She doesn't fight fair....y.

Have you ever just wanted to see some fairies kick the crap out of each other? Because I sure have.



You know that song by Lemon Demon? Y'know, the one about the ultimate showdown and Mr.Rogers wins in the end? I'm kind of wondering what it would be like if there was an ultimate showdown for cryptids. Like.... Would Bigfoot, or the abominable snowman win out? They're pretty much the same big hairy ape-type dude, wandering around in an undesirable setting and alllllways having blurry pictures taken of themselves. Mitch Hedberg was probably right when he said Bigfoot just is a blurry monster. But they might not stand a chance against something as crazed and blood-thirsty as the Chupacabra! Then again... Neither of them is a goat and so... Are probably not actually in any danger. Unicorns have a high probability of stabbing something through the chest, y'know... And Nessie's got an awful big mouth.... Hm. Nah, if we're looking for the Mr. Rogers of the cryptid world, I guess we'd have to declare the inflatable hedgehog as the winner, since seriously.... what the junk? Inflatable hedgehog? Who the heck comes up with these creatures?!

Well, that's all for now. Be sure not to trip on any hoop snakes on your way to bed, or upset any owl men when you go out grocery shopping. Not that I think it would be deadly for you or anything, just that it would be hard to explain to your parents why you suddenly up and lost your marbles.


P.S. Fairies are totally real, though.

Bigfoot in Love.

Looking for love stinks. Being single really isn't bad at all... Unless you've gotten that itch that only the love of someone else can scratch. You know what I'm talking about. Those weeks of evaluating yourself, starting to think there's no one out there who could ever love you, changing your face and hair and wardrobe to make yourself a little more appealing, telling all your friends it's okay that you're single because it's okay, you're a deity and don't need anyone to fill your void and it really doesn't matter that everyone you know is growing up and getting married and you can't even manage to wrangle a second date despite the fact that you think you do and say all the right things aside from ordering the most garlic-y dish on the menu.... But yeah, no big deal... Everything's okay. But you're still lonely. I'm reminded of a Deirdre Flint song, actually....

Anyway, some of us have a little more trouble than others. Some of us are imaginary creatures with a constant bad hair day and have a LOT more trouble than others.





This week's woot.com topic was cryptids, or well-known imaginary creatures that people SWEAR are real. More to come soon!



By the way, I'm in a ridiculously satisfying and happy relationship and have fairly normal-sized feet. ... But that doesn't mean I don't sympathize with ol' Bigfoot up there.

No sense cryin'.

Holy smokes has it been a long time! How y'all doin' tonight? I see some old faces in the crowd, glad to see you're still up and kickin' about. Me, I stopped kickin' about for a while there... As you can tell. It's hard out there when you're working fifty hour weeks at a job that doesn't pay you nearly enough to survive, tells you you're the cancer of the company [true story!], and sticks you under the command of some dumbass too idiotic enough not to run into a car while on his bike. In the suburbs. At some point, you've just got to say enough is enough and get back to what's important to you. I've been spending a lot of time with my cat, and my boyfriend, and they both agree that drawing is the best way to fix this craphole I seem to have slid right on down to. So I've got a solution to keep me motivated, and hopefully end up with a good enough payload that I can blow this crummy popsicle shop and lead my life somewhat more on my own danged terms!

shirt.woot.com has a derby every week for random people to submit shirt designs based on their parameters. This week, they just so happened to decide the theme was the end of the world, and I just so happened to produce this little gem:





As of now, I've got a whopping 24 votes, which is pretty pathetic but actually way better than I was expecting.... I was really only hoping for five votes, and ten as an ultimate goal. Did I mention that whoever's shirt gets picked, gets a thousand bucks right off the bat? Hot damn! I could use that money to buy the biggest bag of gummy bears ever made!!!! Yeah!!!!! .... Or, y'know.... Do something responsible with it, too, like... Pay my electric bill. Sheesh, whatever. Gummy bears are cooler.

I'll be entering this derby for at least another ten weeks for a few reasons. One, moneymoneymoneymoneymoney. Two, deadlines force me to actually do work. Three, I was super frustrated I hadn't been doing anything other than random doodles for basically a whole danged year. Four, it'll help me buff up my portfolio so I can get back on track to being a real artist. Five, secret plan.

YES, THAT'S RIGHT, SECRET PLAN. Just because this is the internet doesn't mean I need to tell you everything.

Incidentally, I just pulled off one of my toenails and it's bleeding quite a bit. And I'm going to start learning sign language next week. And I'm hungry. Stay tuned!!!

A startling lack of activity.

Oh, why.... Hello there! I didn't hear you come in-no, no, don't worry... I can finish this nap up later. You came for some artwork and perhaps a side of overdone and completely cheesy commentary? Ah, yes, about that, well... I'd suggest the Gruyere but we're fresh out. Fear not, I hear Monty Python's opened up a cheese shop just down the block, and I'm sure they'd be more than happy to set you up with some Limburger or Swiss. Har har har.

But in all seriousness, this nearly complete halt in sharing has got to end. Yes, I will admit that it is due to my creative production line going on strike and only ever sneaking in to the office now and again when it they need to nick some pens, but I promise you: This is not the end. Oh, no siree bob. I've been cooking up some sweet little stories every week which I hope to find the time and motivation to illustrate shortly. What have I been doing to keep myself sane in the meantime? Well, there's the writing, a bit of bookbinding, a whole lot of baking [hey, it's what's payin' the bills right now!], doodling random animals for some reason, and a little more Call of Duty:World at War than is entirely necessary. Hopefully I'll have something really awesome to show by next week.... err.... month.

Dear internets,

Hey, come here. Sit down. Let's talk.

So I don't know if you've noticed lately, but things are kind of crappy all around. I'm not just talking about myself here, I'm talking about the world in general. The economy has basically collapsed, people are becoming more stressed and therefore, more grumpy, and we've all got so many problems that it's hard for things to look like they'll ever be perfect. There will always be that latest disappointment, or that future heartbreak, or that long-ago traumatic event that creeps up on us when we're most hoping it won't. That's just the way the world works sometimes, and sure, it's not really fair, but it's just how things are.

But so what?

Here are some things I know for sure:
Life is beautiful, and you are a part of it. That's a pretty awesome fact right there, I think. We each get to experience so very many wondrous things every single day, and the longer you stick around, the more you get to experience. Your favorite song, a chocolate cupcake, your first kiss, the smell of fresh-cut grass, the colors of fireworks, the purple of lightning, the texture of someone else's skin, the thrill of taking a chance on anything, and so many other things. Little things, big things... everything. If things get bad and you just can't find a reason to smile, try to think of all the things that have EVER made you smile.
Today is a day worth living in. Tomorrow is a day worth waiting for. Yesterday is what taught you this.
Nothing good will find you if you sit around hiding from the bad things that might.
Things could ALWAYS be worse. No matter how bad they get, they could always get worse. Now sure, when you're homeless, have had both your arms ripped off by bears, have leukemia, and haven't eaten anything for over a week, this probably isn't much comfort. But it's a fact. At least you've still got your legs. At least you don't have to worry about paying your bills. At least you probably know how and when you're going to die.
Fondue is really frickin' good. A world where melted cheese is actually considered a meal and socially acceptable as such and everyone makes a big deal about it.... Well... That's a world full of incomparable genius and pleasure and I definitely want to be a part of it.
If you need help, there will always be someone who will provide it. Maybe it's a stranger, or someone you've known forever, but there will always be someone there to step in and support you. Sometimes even if you're too stubborn to ask for it.
Happiness is inevitable.

Moping around won't make anything better, so screw it... go outside and dance! Especially if it's raining. Especially if there are fireflies around. Sure, dancing won't change the real problems, but at least you'll remind yourself that there are a whole lot of things worth dancing about. Dancing is worth dancing about.



So what's the point? I don't know, I think it's just a reminder to all of us, myself included, that life is good. Even if it doesn't really seem like it. In case we start to forget. In case we already have forgotten.

Also, it's easier to forget how good things are if you feel like you're facing them alone. Tell the people you love that you love them, and do it constantly. Don't ever stop, and don't let them ever doubt for even a second that they are important to you.

Now get out there and prance around like a mad fool!

Peace, love, and joy.
Kat.

The Pope-revisited.

I tend to fall victim to misinterpretation quite often, but I always get my best ideas out of it! For instance, one day I saw the phrase "The Pope's Not Coming" for a split second and IMMEDIATELY died laughing. Then someone threw me a phoenix down and I ate their brains because reanimation can only end badly. But! The point is that I just could not get over that phrase. What could it possibly mean?!?!?! I started thinking up all these reasons that the pope wouldn't be coming, and things that he wouldn't be coming to and knew that something had to be done with this. So, I've been working on a series of illustrations called "The Pope's Not Coming" all with the theme of... The Pope not coming. I really dig this series and hope to get it published at some point, but since I usually do it entirely in black and white, throwing a couple of them into my portfolio doesn't quite fit. Solution? Colorization, of course! I took one of my favorite Pope images and gave it a go with the ol' computeramizational colorajiggatron.

Before!


After!



Oh, and by the way, the origin of the phrase was from a professor's computer. It turns out that he did the illustrations for an article about how The Pope wasn't coming to Philadelphia on his U.S. tour, I believe. That's pretty normal compared to my versions, which involve rock concerts, aliens, wedding invitations, and chastity belts. And plenty more still, I'll have you know.