Let's go for a ride.

Man. It's been one hell of a week for me. Heck, it's been one hell of a year... But the year isn't over yet so I'll wait 'till the end of it to figure out how it all went. News of the week, though, is that I quit my job. Yes, nearly a year and a half after becoming employed at that wretched hellhole of a torture dungeon Panera Bread, I finally managed to snag a space somewhere else and quit. I'm not sure I'll like this job that much since it's not something I've ever even considered doing before, but I'm hoping that it will at least pay the bills... Something Panera consistently failed to do. I'm finishing up my training for them this week before heading off to North Carolina for my second wedding ever, whereupon my return I will immediately begin working. I'm going to be nervous as hell until that first paycheck comes in, though... I'm kind of down to my last $5, which I borrowed from a friend to keep enough gas in my tank to get around. Basically the only good thing to have come from the bread mines are some really, really good friends that I would go completely mad without.

I think of all the horrible things that Panera did to me, the worst was kill my spirit. But I got it back, now... And I've been up to no good.




Most of it involves this guy. And yes, I know that turning your neck a bit to see something is a bit cruel of me but... well... I'm lazy. And working on something. Specifically, I'm working on a book about an adventure that this guy has. Interestingly enough, he was created late one Panera morning while dreading the horrible harpy shriek of the ovens, demanding to be tended to and have their guts constantly stuffed with an endless stream raw dough. A couple of months ago, I got the ability to doodle back sort of suddenly. I started losing myself in ink splotches and scribbles and those spirals and squiggles you make when your pen isn't working because after quite a few months of being ignored... Well... My pens weren't really working. Actually, now that I think of it I should probably go and clean those suckers out. Anyway, I squeaked out a tiny little drawing of an extremely excited bunny kid wearing a pair of pajamas and, for some reason, couldn't let him go. Maybe it was because he looked like he could take on the world and I wanted so terribly to do so myself at that moment, or maybe it's because I thought his smile was goofy and it got me going a bit... Or maybe it's just because he was in some secret part of my head, waiting for the moment to escape... Whatever the reason, the night he was made was the night I found his story and just couldn't stop thinking about it. I've got some more sketches, some comp pages, and half of a pencilled page but... I think I'll keep stringing you along for a bit before giving them up. In the meantime, here's another shirt I entered into that contest. This one's called "oh, shiiiiiiip..."




I'm really enjoying thinking in positives again. :)

Science!!!!

I am so, so sorry for what's about to happen, but.... I'm going to have to blind you with science.



It is poetry in motion, afterall.


Two weeks ago, my friend did a horrible, horrible thing to me and got that song stuck in my head. At the same time, the woot derby topic was "rain"... Well, science happens in the rain!



It ended that week's derby with only about 23 votes. So sad, so sad... But the current derby topic is science!!!! And since I'm lazy and also working on a book instead of shirt designs, I decided to resubmit it. I've got over 70 votes and still going strong! Now granted, I've pretty much just been keeping a steady 50th place, but... It's better than gettin' punched in the butt.

I say that specifically because my friend Gov and I have been playing Batman: Arkham Asylum for the last couple of hours and possibly the best moment thus far was when we took a guy down and punched him in his butt until he died. I just about followed that feller to the afterlife with how hard I was laughing! Gosh, I love batman. I keep drawing him in the steam of the mirror after taking a shower. Aw, what the heck, here... Have some Batman, too.



Yes, that is Neil Patrick Harris. The 90's animated series will always be my favorite, but... Brave and the Bold certainly has its moments.

She doesn't fight fair....y.

Have you ever just wanted to see some fairies kick the crap out of each other? Because I sure have.



You know that song by Lemon Demon? Y'know, the one about the ultimate showdown and Mr.Rogers wins in the end? I'm kind of wondering what it would be like if there was an ultimate showdown for cryptids. Like.... Would Bigfoot, or the abominable snowman win out? They're pretty much the same big hairy ape-type dude, wandering around in an undesirable setting and alllllways having blurry pictures taken of themselves. Mitch Hedberg was probably right when he said Bigfoot just is a blurry monster. But they might not stand a chance against something as crazed and blood-thirsty as the Chupacabra! Then again... Neither of them is a goat and so... Are probably not actually in any danger. Unicorns have a high probability of stabbing something through the chest, y'know... And Nessie's got an awful big mouth.... Hm. Nah, if we're looking for the Mr. Rogers of the cryptid world, I guess we'd have to declare the inflatable hedgehog as the winner, since seriously.... what the junk? Inflatable hedgehog? Who the heck comes up with these creatures?!

Well, that's all for now. Be sure not to trip on any hoop snakes on your way to bed, or upset any owl men when you go out grocery shopping. Not that I think it would be deadly for you or anything, just that it would be hard to explain to your parents why you suddenly up and lost your marbles.


P.S. Fairies are totally real, though.

No sense cryin'.

Holy smokes has it been a long time! How y'all doin' tonight? I see some old faces in the crowd, glad to see you're still up and kickin' about. Me, I stopped kickin' about for a while there... As you can tell. It's hard out there when you're working fifty hour weeks at a job that doesn't pay you nearly enough to survive, tells you you're the cancer of the company [true story!], and sticks you under the command of some dumbass too idiotic enough not to run into a car while on his bike. In the suburbs. At some point, you've just got to say enough is enough and get back to what's important to you. I've been spending a lot of time with my cat, and my boyfriend, and they both agree that drawing is the best way to fix this craphole I seem to have slid right on down to. So I've got a solution to keep me motivated, and hopefully end up with a good enough payload that I can blow this crummy popsicle shop and lead my life somewhat more on my own danged terms!

shirt.woot.com has a derby every week for random people to submit shirt designs based on their parameters. This week, they just so happened to decide the theme was the end of the world, and I just so happened to produce this little gem:





As of now, I've got a whopping 24 votes, which is pretty pathetic but actually way better than I was expecting.... I was really only hoping for five votes, and ten as an ultimate goal. Did I mention that whoever's shirt gets picked, gets a thousand bucks right off the bat? Hot damn! I could use that money to buy the biggest bag of gummy bears ever made!!!! Yeah!!!!! .... Or, y'know.... Do something responsible with it, too, like... Pay my electric bill. Sheesh, whatever. Gummy bears are cooler.

I'll be entering this derby for at least another ten weeks for a few reasons. One, moneymoneymoneymoneymoney. Two, deadlines force me to actually do work. Three, I was super frustrated I hadn't been doing anything other than random doodles for basically a whole danged year. Four, it'll help me buff up my portfolio so I can get back on track to being a real artist. Five, secret plan.

YES, THAT'S RIGHT, SECRET PLAN. Just because this is the internet doesn't mean I need to tell you everything.

Incidentally, I just pulled off one of my toenails and it's bleeding quite a bit. And I'm going to start learning sign language next week. And I'm hungry. Stay tuned!!!